Guilt

Guilt is an awful thing, some days I feel very guilt ridden. I don't know why but today is one of those days. I think it is because Megan called and of course I miss her and the kids an Reid so much but she wanted to know some things about her dad. And we'll maybe I told her too much. Why can't she think he is a super hero who am I to keep her from feeling that way. I feel guilty because the day before he died he wanted me to bring Megan and the other kids to South Jordan to visit him for Megan's birthday. And I wanted to win the war I wanted to be the one to say no for once so he said maybe tomorrow I said no you come and get them. And then he died I denied them the chance to see their dad one more time just because I wanted to be the big man. You should have seen the looks on their little faces when told them he was gone their pain broke my heart. I wish they could had the chance and that he could have had the chance to grow closer together. In the next life maybe.