Tastes Sooo Good
I finally sat down to get something to eat after a long day. I filled up a ladle of chili, and placed it in my bowl, topping it off with some cheese and crackers. On a side plate sat a slice of cornbread smothered in butter and honey. Embracing the first spoonful with my mouth, I realized that the chili was fabulous! The beans were soft and juicy, and the flavor of the spices danced around in my mouth. This had to be the best chili I had ever eaten.
My alarm woke me early that morning; it was time to wake Laurie. She needed to go to work. She slept on my couch the night before to make sure I would be all right. It was just the morning before that I had given birth to Corbin a, beautiful baby boy. Soon after he was born doctors found something wrong his heart, so they wouldn’t let him go home, but I had to leave. My insurance would only pay for a twelve hour stay. While looking through the window of the nursery at Corbin I begged the doctor to let me stay at the hospital with him, but he said no. I would have to come back for him in the morning. I couldn’t take him home until after they got the results from his tests. My eyes swelled up with tears as I said my good-byes. The hospital staff scooted me out with a sleeping pill in hand and said, “See you tomorrow.”
My older children were at their grandparents: Angela, 9-years- old, was always the mothering type, and couldn’t wait to hold the baby; Megan, 7-years-old, was a very dramatic girl and couldn’t stop talking about the new baby; And Nathan, 5-years-old, who was rambunctious, while interested, just wanted to play and was very nonchalant about the whole thing. They were all excited to see their new brother, but would have to wait until the next day. Corbin’s father was no longer in our lives. I was pretty much on my own. My friend Laurie was my rock the day Corbin was born and she drove me home from the hospital and spent the night at my house.
After getting Laurie on her way, I decided I should make sure we had something to eat that night for dinner. I knew it would be a long day, and the older kids would be coming home and would probably need to eat. I put red beans in a pot and brought them to a boil then let them sit for an hour to get them ready for the chili. While that was cooking I browned some hamburger. I threw all of it in the crockpot, added an envelope of seasoning, nothing special just generic. I put in some water, covered the crockpot, and set it at low. Then I drove myself to the hospital to pick up Corbin.
When I got to the hospital, the doctor hadn’t released him to go home. The nurses told me I could wait in the nursery. I picked Corbin up and found my way to the nearest rocking chair, and began rocking him. I held him close for the first time; finally, a chance to really get to know my little boy. The night before when everything was so unsure I told myself, “Don’t get too close to this baby. You don’t know how long he will be here.” As I held him, my heart couldn’t do what my mind had told it to do. I fell in love with my baby boy.
I sat in that rocking chair for a long time waiting for the doctor to come in and give me the results of Corbin’s tests. It had been hours, and I was ready to go home. That morning I prayed harder than I think I ever have. I was scared. Now that I loved him, I couldn’t bear to lose him. Finally the doctor came to talk to me. He said the tests didn’t show anything significant. Corbin had a heart murmur and they were going to watch him. He thought that it was caused from a shunt not closing between the two chambers of the heart. It usually closes right after someone is born, but he thought Corbin’s hadn’t closed yet. The doctor was sure the shunt would close soon, so I could take Corbin home, but the doctor wanted to see him in a week.
By the time we got home, it was afternoon and I was exhausted; after all, it had only been a little over twenty-four hours since I gave birth. Putting the baby in his bassinet gave me a chance to lie down and take a well deserved rest. I found it strange this little baby didn’t ever cry or want to eat. He just slept. I was trying to remember if this was normal for a brand new baby, and I tried not to worry.
At about five o’clock, my sister brought my older children home. They were excited to see their new little brother, and each of them took a turn holding him. I wanted to protect him from all of their little germs; he didn’t need to catch some kind of illness right now, but they needed a chance to get to know him. Thank goodness, other family members understood my predicament and we didn’t have any other visitors that day. I don’t think I could have handled much company because my emotions were so fragile from the events of the past two days.
As expected, it didn’t take long for the kids to get hungry. I baked up some cornbread, (I love cornbread), and poured the chili out of the crockpot into a bowl. Then we sat down and ate our dinner. That’s when I had the best chili I’ve ever eaten.
The last twenty years have brought many ups and downs with Corbin. He ended up having a very serious heart condition called pulmonary valve stenosis. His heart is doing fine now, but through the last twenty years I’ve tried to duplicate that pot of chili without success. It’s funny how we perceive our memories. Some memories are as vivid as a picture; others smell oh so sweet. Some memories make our hearts pound every time we think about them. I’ve always wondered if it was the relief of having my children home safe with me that night and the sweet memories that made the chili so delicious or was the chili really that good?
Wow mom. I seriously have no words to describe this. Thanks for sharing that. I wish I could remember those times. The memories of my childhood are not many for some reason. You should post stuff like this more often.
ReplyDeleteNow I know where I get my love of cornbread.
This is Megan by the way. I'm in Reid's account.